Fuck yeah, I’m an adult! So, stop wasting my time!

I think I’m becoming an adult. I realize that that is an odd thing to say, considering I am 25 and should see myself as an adult already, but I kinda don’t yet. Not that I see myself as a teenager, either… I’m just a “student”: That weird limbo area between education and the real world. In my 25 years of life, I have yet to have a job that completely covers my living expenses. I hope that will come in two years time when I am finally done school.

Physically, I know I have surpassed being an adult and have gone straight to being old. That happened at the ripe old age of 21. A serious hip operation would suck the youth out of anyone, I think. Now I think back fondly to the time when I had flexibility in my right hip, as I painfully exercise and stretch in the hopes of gaining it back.

By “becoming an adult” I mean taking control of my own actions and decisions without needing approval from anyone. There are people in my life who’s opinions and advice mean a lot to me, but I am coming to realize, more and more, that this is my life and I am free to live it how I want. I also take more stock in how I spend my time. Studying minimalism and mindfulness, working through Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, reading and attempting to follow Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, I’ve realized that they all have the same message: happiness is to spend your time intentionally doing things you love. And I have started to do that, trying to actively ween myself away from digital distractions and push myself to spend time doing things I want to do. And they are all right, I am happier! On the flip-side, however, I find myself more easily irritated when I have to spend my time doing something I don’t want to do, or doing something that wastes my time. Do I want to go out for drinks with people I don’t like? No. That would be a huge waste of my time. Would I get more out of going home and reading a book? Yes. Heck yes.

“I’m an adult. I can do what I want!” I use to ironically yell in a fake temper tantrum. But guess what, ladies and gentlemen… who are my life colleagues now, I guess… I am an adult and I can do what I want. So there! *Blows raspberry*

Can an introvert really ever find the perfect job?

I feel ya, teacher lady. I feel ya.

Is anyone else out there introverted? I wouldn’t say I am completely introverted, but I fall on the more introverted side of the spectrum. As an adult, I’ve found that I’ve become more aware of my symptoms of introversion, mainly the signs that my body gives me to say: “You really need a break from people.” I feel tired. My thoughts are laced with irritation. Despite this, I talk a lot, and it’s almost like my mind steps back to watch what my body is doing, and the conclusion it comes it is that my body is an idiot. My eagerness to help becomes a little conniving voice in my head, one that knows how to solve your problem, but gleefully holds it back to watch you suffer. I exaggerated the last one a bit, but the point I’m trying to get at is when I have had too much human interaction, I my mindset changes. I try to fight against these new, more negative impulses, and hope they don’t show. I try to never act on them, and as far as I know, I have been successful.

I am trained to be a Teacher. It is what I have been working towards my entire life. On one hand, I enjoy leading a class. I believe that I have strong ideas, and am a good teacher as a result. My concern is, now that I know myself better, is teaching the right profession for me? I love the solitary nature of creating art, but also enjoy the thrill that comes out of collaborating on ideas with others. I’m still in school (seven years of post-secondary education and counting!) so these wonderings can sit on the back burner for a while yet.

At the moment, I’m off to teach ESL at a summer camp, and I don’t really feel like it today.

Do you consider yourself an introvert? What kind of symptoms do you experience when your body says “I’ve had enough of people”

Do you believe that a person can find the perfect job, or is that just a pipe dream?